The Empress
The first in a new tarot reading & reflection series ✨
I smile every time this card appears in readings with clients. The warmth she inspires spreads the corners of my mouth upward, flushes my cheeks with color, and spreads heat all through my tummy, chest, and limbs. That energy is contagious, spreading to the querent before I’ve even begun to explain what she means for them. I can’t help but feel relief and joy when she appears, no matter the context.
Recently, I felt the urge to pull a tarot card and write about whatever thoughts or feelings it stirs, and share them here. This is about that experience with The Empress. What you’re reading is less of a tarot 101 piece, however, and more of a reflective essay on how this card is inspiring me right now.
I hope she can be a source of inspiration for you, too.
While shuffling my deck for the purpose of writing this, I thought for a moment about what I needed to know and wanted to share. A question came to mind:
How do I embrace rejection, and continue showing up every day, imperfectly and as bravely as possible?
Moments after the question punctuated itself, I got the usual tug: my body’s way of telling me to stop shuffling. I always know whether the card I’m pulling is meant for my eyes, even before I flip it over. That trust has taken over a decade to develop.
The bright colors were the first details my mind picked up on as my eyes danced across her lush garden, before landing on her soft, beautiful face. The Empress is adorned with a crown of stars in this deck, with bright and comfortable pillows to lounge on while she luxuriously basks in her domain. You can’t miss the trans symbol adorning a pink heart by her soft but strong legs. She is surrounded by a vibrant, verdant garden of her own making. Everything she has and shares has been personally curated and nurtured, that’s where her magic lies after all: the abundance that love creates.
The Empress is about all sorts of love, romance included, but what she represents at her core is self love. The love that starts from within, the love that embraces everything about us worth celebrating and everything about us that we’d prefer to hide. The love that The Empress invokes in us is the kind that makes our spiritual soil fertile, an important first step in the growth just over the horizon. She urges us to begin curating our garden, our physical & spiritual environment, in ways that inspire us creatively and emotionally. The garden you’re admiring is the result of her need for a place to make her smile.
When your foundation is one of self love, the bravery to love others comes with less resistance. Applying for that job feels less daunting, because you know your worth is not up for evaluation. Shooting your shot feels less terrifying, because you know that even if you get rejected it ultimately has nothing to do with you.
But without that foundation, getting caught up in the possibility of rejection becomes much easier. That fear will prevent you from trying again elsewhere, stopping any chances of success in the future. The best mantra I have to more deeply carve this neural pathway in my brain comes from one of my favorite queer writers, Leo Herrera, as he recounts in his book (Analogue) Cruising:
“The worst thing someone can say is ‘no’ and that leaves room for someone else’s ‘yes.’”
No matter what you’re applying the question of rejection to (I myself am referring to myriad rejections; sexual, professional, creative, and otherwise), the unconditional self-love The Empress speaks to is necessary. Without it, we have less of ourselves to give others, and worse — it prevents us from nurturing ourselves. Without this fertile soil, our vibrancy withers over time.
If you want to flourish, if you want to succeed, if you want to get laid…you have to tend to your own garden first. Create abundance for yourself, instead of starting your search elsewhere, and the people and opportunities meant for you will be drawn to your garden like bees to flowers.
